Counseling Center

Relationship Crisis

How To Overcome A Relationship Crisis: 6 Useful Tips

Of course, the idea is to avoid the appearance of the couple’s crises to do what is necessary so that we do not reach a point where the love relationship is significantly damaged.

However, once this has happened, all is not lost: in many cases, it is possible to move the tab to get out of this situation and make the marriage or courtship stronger again.

How to overcome these bad moments that the relationship goes through? You will find several tips that, although they are simple to explain, require perseverance, commitment to the idea of ​​improvement, and effort.

Avoid Wanting To Win In Every Argument

Often, the trap of confusing discussions with contests in which you have to stay ahead of the other falls, whatever the cost. This only fuels the conflict, of course.

But, paradoxically, an argument is also an opportunity to reconcile, because your self shows that you are capable of not being carried away by the impulses that lead you to get angry, and shows understanding and empathy, this is a powerful show of love, and will contribute that the other person has reasons to build bridges, seeing that on the other side there is someone listening.

Treat Past Problems Honestly

For example, this can happen if you consider that you have made more sacrifices than the other person to be able to live together. Talking about this transparently is necessary to strike a balance, which brings us to the next point.

 

You Have To Achieve Symmetry

Relationships based on dependency or codependency is condemned to suffer turbulent periods. It is not sustainable to make a large part of our lives depend on the arbitrary or unilateral decisions of the other person. You have to be at a point where we both give what we receive.

You Need To Acknowledge Mistakes

This is basic. Without the ability to look back and recognize that we have been wrong, it is very difficult to love, or even live together. It is not worth making excuses or assuming that the blame is shared: we must communicate that we believe we have done wrong or made a mistake, and offer a way to repair the damage caused.

Do Not Let Time Pass Without More

You don’t just have to address issues and talk about them to reach a consensual solution. You also have to do it soon, without leaving everything “for the next day.”

The simple passing of time does not solve a couple’s crisis; it only makes the situation more frustrating, investing more weeks, months, and years in a courtship or a relationship in which no one learns from their mistakes. 

 

Faced With Major Problems, Go To Couples Therapy

Alinea Center Counseling believes couples therapy is nowadays a service widely used by all kinds of people, even those who do not even consider separation or divorce. In these sessions, psychologists offer our training, therapeutic tools, and counseling and mediation power to create situations where patients can communicate, discover previously invisible errors, and do something to remedy the relationship crisis.

Overcoming Infidelity

How To Overcome Infidelity: Know Why We Are Unfaithful

I insist that infidelity is a behavior that depends on numerous factors; all of them are decisive in how to overcome infidelity. On the one hand, the way of being of each person, the ability to control their desires and impulses, self-esteem, expectations, degree of satisfaction, experiences that have been lived throughout life, learning … On the other hand, it depends on the opportunities to meet new people to be attracted to, the social environment, the partner’s style of commitment, satisfaction in the relationship, unmet needs (sexual or emotional), etc.

Unfaithful behavior can have different origins, and depending on them; it will be different how to overcome infidelity. Some of the most common reasons behind infidelity are:

The relationship is deteriorating. How many times have we heard, “the couple was already broken.” When the wishes and expectations that one has of her partner are not satisfied, it is more likely that those wishes may appear towards another person. Let’s say that the predisposition to meet someone is favored.

The longing for passion and romantic love. Over time, the couple’s passion for bonding or attachment may be separated. Although the love continues, feelings of infatuation, desire, or other emotions that generate confusion may appear towards other people.

Find experiences or something that you do not have as a couple. Affection, attention, or sex that is not in the relationship.

Lack of stimulation or boredom. Whether the relationship is satisfactory or not, at some point, one of the parties simply gets bored and seeks other sensations. The novel reactivates and satisfies.

Some beliefs (erroneous or not) that some people have, such as that to save a lasting relationship a specific meeting is beneficial since it gives life to “a couple without incentives”

The love affair. A slip to recover old emotions present in the infatuation phase makes us feel young again and above all desired or desired.

The game of seduction. Those who feel this tendency like to “fool around” to reinforce their self-concept, and in this “territory,” it is easy to go on to infidelity.

Insecurity or low self-esteem. The unfaithful person feels inferior in

terms of their partner: less attractive or attractive. Infidelity serves to reaffirm your value, raise self-esteem by considering yourself desirable.

Retaliation. Some people cheat only as revenge for their partner’s behavior that they consider unfair, in the face of suspicion, or discovered infidelity.

Having someone in the “bedroom. ” People with a dependent pattern, when they begin to perceive that things are not going well in their relationship, they look for another person, to be able to replace their current partner. And this can lead to repeated infidelities by not finding the right replacement.

The desire to have a partner, when yours no longer exists, and due to fear or inability to close and leave a relationship, go hand in hand.…

Couples Therapies

Are Couples Therapies Useful?

Arguments, discomfort in coexistence, routine, lack of sex, or infidelities are the most common reasons why a couple decides to go to therapy to save their relationship or, at least, try. Some come when they begin to see signs that something is not going as expected, but in most cases, an average of between five and six years is expected, when the relationship is already more than worn out. The key is to go when both members feel it and also have the same objectives; it is useless if one wants to recover the relationship and the other to break it.

But the reality is quite different, as reflected in different studies focused on couples who come for a consultation. “They usually wait between five and six years to go to therapy, despite having observed signs that the relationship is not working as well as they would like,” explains Bustamante. Couples who will never go to therapy are not considered in these studies. Be that as it may, says the expert, “the reality is that, unfortunately, the profile of couples who come for consultation is usually that of a couple who, despite knowing that they still love each other, have been accumulating frustration, anger, disappointments, detachment, and coldness. “

 

The keys to the process

 

Couples therapy is valid for recovering the relationship and having a breakup that is as less conflictive and painful as possible. So the goal of everything is “for the couple to communicate and solve what they want to solve to feel better with themselves and with the other,” Anfruns Nomen maintains, either to recover the relationship if they both wish or to break it in the best of ways.

 

Then, the expert adds, you have to work on the dialogue in front of the monologue. It is necessary to empathize with the other, listen to him, know what is happening to him, and try to understand him. That is why adds Bustamante, the main thing in therapy is to teach: knowing how to listen, putting yourself in the other’s shoes, learning to communicate what we feel or bother us without hurting the other person, taking responsibility for ourselves, fleeing from emotional dependence, learn to discuss, attend and take care of the couple’s relationship, and to lay a foundation to get excited again.